What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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