I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
