you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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