He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
