People in love make me want to vomit
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
