She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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