I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
