I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
