She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
