quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
