But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
