This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
