Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
