You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
