Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
