We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
