I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
