omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
