my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
