the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
