Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just had sex bonerless
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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