i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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