yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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