somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
