false alarm. still invincible.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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