I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
