We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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