What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
