All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
