Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
