forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
