I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
