just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
