u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
