Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
In America we eat man semen.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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