we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize