If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
