Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
