At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Randomize
