White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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