now i know why i became what i already was.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
