Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
