She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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