You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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