So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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