He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
