On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
