shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
