why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize