Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
