So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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