based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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