Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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