Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
