I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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