I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
