well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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