Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
