He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
