When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
