Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
