Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
