Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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