When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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