Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
