we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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