yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
