you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
