Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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