the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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